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Wizard As An Allegory

by TAMEDOG

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1.
Wizard Maze 04:30
2.
Jezve Wizard 04:12
Նարնջի ծաղիկ (Silver Tree) Հիլ եւ պիստակ (Where have you gone?) Ինչպես ես Դուն սուրճ կ՛ուզես (trans. Orange blossom Cardamom and Pistachio How are you? Do you want coffee?) That look in your eye Really shows your age Will you take the hot stones? You’re hiding something big Under that wide brim hat You’re hiding something big Shall I bring you a cup? Sit and I’ll bring you a cup Have another, then one more I hope you always have enough Sometimes we only align once in our lives Let's call it a night
3.
Lord knows I’m no forsaker Of past iterations of myself You’re standing at the edge of a mirror Either outcome is a different kind of hell The Wizard watches a Spaghetti Western, goes out and buys herself a Brand new Stetson, and a pistol, and a horse It's just another crazy obsession, a self-inflicted change of profession, but We’ll holler and we’ll clap Lord knows I wait for judgement, But he’s got no jurisdiction in this land You’re passing through the passers by With a canteen full of sand It's not in the cards Please excuse me The Wizard watches a Spaghetti Western, goes out and buys herself a brand new stetson, and a pistol, and a horse It's just another crazy obsession, a self-inflicted change of profession, but we’ll holler and we’ll clap again There's no valor in suffering You know where to go One day I’ll fly off the handle, ditch this town and start all over
4.
You watch him in the lecture Know hes got no fucking clue Hes really really trying But the gears are lubed with glue Hes nodding off too often His potions turning blue But hes off and running Hes got himself a girlfriend Shes a normie but she's sweet She only likes top 40 And by 9 she falls asleep But she has a wicked penchant For smoking lots of weed And shes always laughing And they're good for each other He sucks at incantations But she thinks that they sound great And hes her little hero Cuz he makes things levitate Shes studying his textbook But she cannot read the runes He picks up her guitar And he plays way out of tune His transmutations shakey They've no whiskey and no wine We visit them regardless And we have an awesome time We take them to a noise show They join us in the pit Now they're really swinging And they're good for each other Load them in the van They've gotten pretty schmacked They say when they get home They're gonna hit the sack But the walls are really thin They're gonna hit it from the back And their boots are knocking And they're good for each other
5.
It takes a whole lotta chutzpah to get it right Sneaking off with the queen in the middle of most nights But the jester and the maid and guard they turn a blind eye (Cuz hes a really nice guy) His ass is fat like the globe is flat Hes uncanny like the live action cat in the hat Skinnying at the beach, watching people sit around eating sand While hes jamming with the band Yeaaaaah this wizards out of his head Hes a bath bomb toaster Wacky westcoaster, The man of your dreams and hes trapped inside a poster Like the Jesus Christ of mystery paste WizRock is out and all the girlies want a taste WizCAs got the bars to knock out your lights And Vexi D keeps the beat real tight Our Magic tricks are coming to you live While you're still at the guild working 9 to 5 He zips up his embroidered thigh high channels Sprinkles ergot into the kingdoms wells Driving the company car straight to hell for the weekend (He and his girlfriends aren't speaking) This guys got moves that you‘ll never level He‘ll clean you out like a washing machine devil Back and forth and back and forth the agitator rocks (Take off your socks) He gets down He gets down He gets down He's got good rhythm Lighthouse watchmen getting naughty and nautical With the Temporal Wizards ignoring the chronological Tassomancy thesis very laudible, prodigal (Would you turn this shit off its getting fucking inaudible) He bested you three karmic cycles back In a High School Bio Jeopardy Death match Curing meats to stave off the infection Uncreated and free from conceptual elaboration Starting a fire on the top of his head Does a 4loko bong enema and honors the dead Always getting busy tying radiators to a truck Never down on bad luck Ratio Collosium in Grifter City Parasocial shotgun weddings start getting messy Cyber-Heaven is a laundromat of infinite quarters Swinging bats at nests of discoursers It's thotty law students verses third line enforcers It's Mother Mary hoaxes and corn fed reporters But he smashes his phone via sick fade away Grabs the VR headset and gets real laid He gets down He gets down He gets down He's got good rhythm
6.
Hinten im Zimmer Blitz und dann Stille Ich stelle mich ein Jetzt gibt es so viele Spiegelversionen Alles in etwas anderen Farben Wenn ich mich bewege Folgen schwache Geister Wenn ich mich bewege Folgen schwache Geister Mein Gott was hast du getan? Mein Gott was hast du getan? Zauberer der Tausendklangsdimensionen Zauberer der Tausendklangsdimensionen Zwei, drei, vier sind für dich nicht genug Es ist für dich nie genug Liebe wie Kreise 5D-Schach mit Zeitreise Ich stelle mich ein Jetzt gibt es so viele Spiegelversionen Alles in etwas anderen Farben Wenn ich mich bewege Folgen schwache Geister Wenn ich mich bewege Folgen schwache Geister Mein Gott was hast du getan? Alter was hast du getan? Zauberer der Tausendklangsdimensionen Zauberer der Tausendklangsdimensionen Zwei, drei, vier sind für dich nicht genug Aber es ist für dich nie genug
7.
What is it you‘re scared of? That the wheels keep on turning, Meanwhile you‘ve dropped right out the back, Cuz this pace is unrelenting. The general consensus, Gears shifting electronic, No one knows exactly when they’re gonna fail, But they’re gonna fail It’s a mechanical Tour and Giro you remember, Reached the Vuelta in November, You never got to stop to look around, Cuz your legs were always moving Do you promise not to crash out, Oh that roadrash looks so angry, But when you’re on you’re so fucking on, And maybe it will save me. It’s a mechanical Everyone is bracing, Cuz they've caught sight of the bottlenose, All the people hanging over metal rails, Gonna give you everything they‘ve got (coughing noise) Passed-over GC hopeful yearning To blow apart the peloton When you're playing a wholly different game, Why would you even bother? Even when we‘ve all been DQ‘d, And the end results don’t matter, They still want to know exactly where you are, In the bunch sprint to nowhere So then what is it you’re scared of? That the wheels will stop turning, Everyone supporting you has cracked, Cuz this climb is unrelenting It’s a mechanical
8.
This fugue state’s getting silly It’s all a bit tongue in cheek I need to bite my lips and Produce evidence that I was once alive This day’s been the longest year of my life This year’s been the shortest day of my life And life’s just filler between Shitting and jacking off But I promise If I ever come down we’ll picnic at a park, I swear I promise that I’ll come down soon That I’ll Make it through To the next bad interlude Then the next bad interlude Then the next bad interlude Then the next bad interlude Then the next bad interlude Shutting off my brain I need more time I need more
9.
Run the action I need help With his task Restart I have a friend He plays tricks, But knows the ins and outs Call up Installation Wizard its Installation Wizard its Installation Wizard yes! Hes the installation wizard Hes spamming the discord with a Thirsttrap virus baby Call that VD in the VC Installation Wizard he’s Installation Wizard he’s Installation Wizard he’s Installation Wizard He’ll help you out
10.
Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil No rules, death match - straight illegal About to remold the interdimensions Won't align with the Geneva Conventions Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Do you even know what you're about to witness? Do you even know what you're about to witness? You dont even know what you're about to witness You’re entirely unprepared for what you're about to witness Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Yes these two are different people With varied perceptions on what constitutes as evil Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil hell yeah baby front row seats Its happening Its happening right now Its happening right fucking now Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Death defying stunts like Evel Knievel Rodeo clowns doing soul retrieval Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Monster trucks running on magic diesel All of this over whose turn on the PC Sell your soul now if you do not believe me Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil Do you even know what you're about to witness? Do you even know what you're about to witness? You dont even know what you're about to witness You’re totally and entirely unprepared for what you're about to witness Evil Wizard vs Wizard of Evil
11.
In the middle of the night Noise oozes through the walls Veximus He's mixing again Walk down the hall A familiar beat A familiar Floors tend to bend, tend to rot So leave it in the pot Take it for a drive and then ditch it in A lot of things you have to say will leave us feeling grey So cold and out of place Here's the chorus Cut it up Veximus Fuck it up Minds seem to wander, coast to coast He’s following a ghost Ripping out a track is what he loves Most his parts are improvised, its all adlibs really, he hates his lyrics Well, here's the chorus Cut it up Veximus Fuck it up I’ll walk it off People tend to flake, tend to leave Vex mixes a new beat He’ll never open up and he knows that they're not Mean median and mode there's something to behold In trying to find cause The viewers take a pause Cut it up Veximus Fuck it up Well now you Cut it up Veximus Fuck it up Floors tend to bend, tend to rot So leave it in the pot Take it for a drive and then ditch it in A lot of things you have to say will leave us feeling grey So cold and out of Place yourself in the middle under rhymes and riddles Incantations, chants, and spells - try them time to time When you're not feeling Welcome to our round table Strewn about the cables, in piles and knots Reaching down to the Floors tend to bend, tend to rot So leave it in the pot Take it for a drive and then ditch it in A lot of things you have to say and maybe it's ok Or maybe I forgot
12.
It's hard to say It's so far back Did I get out all I wanted in that time? The work was hard The parties harder Guess the pixies were right, it's It's Educational
13.
As you leave these hallowed walls Confer the wise ones, your staff and wand They say “You’ll do great things in the great beyond And you‘ll all share this special bond” But none of that has been the case Starting to think its all been fake And the magic I was born to make Gets used on dishes I wash for min wage I don’t wait for nothing and I‘m afraid of nothing cuz I seen what it can do To the strongest willed souls, worn down like soles in my old boots What good are my wizard degrees? When no magic guilds have openings The wizard dollar is very weak It lays on the floor too drunk to speak Should have done wizard vocation Could have chosen any old location I‘m not at risk from spell automation Union would get me good paid vaction I don’t wait for nothing and I‘m afraid of nothing cuz I seen what it can do To the strongest willed souls, worn down like soles in my old boots I don’t wait for nothing and I‘m afraid of nothing cuz I seen what it can do To the strongest willed souls, worn down like soles in my old boots I don’t wait for nothing and I‘m afraid of nothing cuz I’ve felt what it can do To the strongest willed souls, worn down like soles in my old boots

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The second LP by TameDog. Get Wizzy.

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released December 1, 2021

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TAMEDOG Colorado

I'm from Colorado.

I do all my own stunts. Mostly.

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